Considering it is kindergarten registration at our school next week, I wanted to share my personal thoughts.
I have never taught kindergarten nor have I ever run a preschool program. I have been an elementary educator for 8 years and am now a father of two wonderful girls that so many people think we should be getting them ready for kindergarten. I read so much from childcare “experts” that push parents to get their kids “kindergarten ready” and this often focuses on skills like letter recognition, counting, colouring, sitting still, etc. Preschools and daycare centres market themselves as the “best places to get your child ready for kindergarten”. Parents feel the need to give their kids the edge by getting their children into the “best preschools”. (I LOVE the preschool our kids go to… not because they are focused on academics but because they love and care for our kids and give them an opportunity to be happy learning and exploring with others – and to be clear, I don’t blame preschools for marketing themselves – they are a small business and often must do what the market demands).
When did we “realize” that pushing children to learn outside the home at a young age best prepared them for kindergarten? I have yet to meet a kindergarten teacher (and I have had the privilege of meeting some amazing ones) that says to a parent that their child should have this ideal list of skills prior to entering kindergarten. Yet, so many articles say “kindergarten teachers all want…”. What message does this send to parents if we say a child should know how to print and spell their name and their child comes to school not knowing how to do this? ”Thank you for bringing your child to our school… but she cannot print her name so you have failed as a parent to get your child ready for kindergarten.” We would never say this but how many parents feel this? How many parents are so stressed out to get their child ready for kindergarten that they miss out on the wonderful moments of love, exploration, curiosity, and play?
A kindergarten teacher said to me, “The only thing I ask of parents is that they give their child all the love and care they can provide… I will teach them once they arrive. It is up to me to be ready for your child”. Of course we want to encourage read alouds, exploration, outdoor play and so many other joyous parts of being a parent; however, we don’t need (as parents) to feel pressured to sit at the table going through a kindergarten readiness workbook trying to ensure our kids learn how to sit still and do worksheets so they have a better chance of “graduating” from kindergarten.
As a parent, I have been blown away by the constant comparatives of our children – percentile scores, toilet training (some call it the real life “pissing contest”) and other quests to achieve milestones earlier than the “norm” (who’s Norm?). Parents are constantly inundated with marketing ploys and information to give their child the “edge”. I get it – we want our kids to be successful. I also know that there is such strength in parent/family attachment. I worry that the pressure to give kids an edge actually affects parent attachment in our kids. Through pressure to get kids involved and schedule them in activities so much, we actually encourage attachment to someone else and take time away from family time… time which we will never get back. I am not saying we don’t get our kids involved in activities they enjoy; I am saying let’s do this for the right reasons.
The current reality for many of our families is that both parents work. This makes time with family that much more important. I never want to tell parents what to do but I feel that we need to relax a bit and stop worrying so much about giving our kids an edge and preparing them for kindergarten. Education is a life-long journey and the years of parenting kids seems to fly by at an incredible rate. Let’s give parents a break from the stress of always being told what to do to be the “best parent”. Let’s stop forcing families to constantly compare the development of their “baby” to some arbitrary “ideal” academic standard for preschool aged children. Let’s rethink the pressure of things like “kindergarten readiness” and instead promote ways that families can spend more time together playing, reading, imagining, exploring, and living in that moment… because we all know how quickly these moments pass.
I would love your thoughts on this… as I am still trying to figure things out for myself as an educator and a parent.
A plug for my friend Scott Bedley who, along with his brother Tim, have created an opportunity to start a conversation around the importance of play. February 4th is Global School Play Day and this is a great kick off to encourage schools and families to embrace the joys of creativity, exploration, friendships, and learning. It is a reminder to put down the devices, put aside the schedules and be in the moment.